PARALLEL STAGES

     Sometimes the bereaved tend to go through stages that parallel those of the dying person.  This can take place both before and after the death of a loved one.  That is, those close to a dying person may pass through some form of denial as soon as they learn the person has a terminal disease.  "It can't be so, it can't be true that my husband is dying"  Then comes anger - at oneself, at the dying person, at the doctor, at the Fates.  There is also bargaining.  "Just give him a little more time, God." Then depression.  "I can't go on without him if he dies".  Finally - acceptance.
     After death the same stages present themselves also, although often in random patterns.  Denial is there, and certainly anger and depression.  Though it is too late for bargaining, that too may appear.  However, in the end, most people arrive at acceptance.  Just as it is healthy for a dying person to work through these stages, so it is for the survivors.